6 months ago, you vowed to achieve your GOALS this year. You swore to yourself, you’d never give up. And yet… here we are 5.5 months away from another New Year… And your goals? 

You Make GOALS. Because that’s what you’re told to do. You don’t succeed. Failure hurts. You give up. And blame yourself. And your goals… aren’t inspiring anymore, if anything the shine is gone. 

According to recent polls, you’re not alone my friend. It is estimated that 99% of people give up on their resolutions every year. 

The average person has no idea how to create goals, fuel them and achieve them. 

Or maybe everything you’ve been taught about goal setting is mostly wrong. 

It’s a lot like that show, American Idol, where people audition in front of 3 famous judges and either get a golden ticket to Hollywood to compete for the 1 spot. 

The first time they audition, most look like a deer in headlights. Then as they progress through you can see changes in their energy, in their voices, and in their stage presence. 

When I first started watching the show, I used to think 

 WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO DO THIS ON NATIONAL TELEVISION? 

It seems insane. 

Many of them, in fact, all of them EXCEPT for 1 will make it. You go through all that stress… knowing that there is only 1 spot.  

But I get it. 

There is an unmatched level of want, hope, and faith that comes with pursuing your biggest dream. Empowerment comes not from achieving the goal, but actually taking the risk. 

. . . 

When you can see yourself achieve goals on your own, you don’t have to worry about “asking for permission.” You don’t have to question yourself anymore. 

I want more people to know what it feels like to achieve their dreams. 

So, today, I am going to share with you some secrets, based in neuroscience that no one else is talking about, that has helped me and my clients build businesses and reach goals in their sports. 

I know not all of you will follow this system, because it just doesn’t resonate with you. And that’s cool.  

But maybe it’ll start a spark in you. 

It took me years to figure this stuff out. And I went to a clinical psychology doctorate program and taught a class on human behavior where they each had to complete a goals project. Surprisingly, these students struggled to achieve their goals. (Their grades were not dependent on the outcome of this goal, but on the quality of the project). 

And the funny thing is, I hated teaching this class initially- until I loved it. And became absolutely obsessed, because I realized life is shaped by our fears and our goals.  

Which was the moment, I started living for my goals. 

. . . 

It took me several years of studying how people became successful. I studied books, researched success building psychological models, neuroscience and success, mentored some amazing entrepreneurs, and experimented on myself and with my clients to see what “worked” and didn’t. 

If someone had given me this plan, I’m confident I would have reached my goals in business and in my sport (equestrian) faster by focusing on implementing this blueprint into my daily life. 

I do think, if someone focuses and fully commits to these techniques they can achieve some of their goals in the next 5.5 months that are left of 2023. 

. . . 

You with me? 

 
This plan is for those who really want to achieve big dreams starting NOW. 

A goal is just a plan. A plan to get from one location to another. To a location that you think might bring you greater happiness and/or abundance. 

But not all goals set you up for success. Most are purely a waste of time, energy, and create more frustration than happiness. And many times, you choose goals that don’t serve your greatness. 

People tend to make the biggest mistake by believing,  

“I’ll be happy, when… (insert goal) is reached.”  

Let me point this out, if you are unhappy today and you practice unhappiness every single day, you will be unhappy even if you were to reach that goal. Why? Because your brain has automatized unhappiness. The feeling of happiness is foreign to your brain, so it’s not going to know how to turn on the neurotransmitters required for you to feel happy. 

Don’t you fall into this trap of:  

If X happens (If I get what I want the right amount of money, the right job, the right invitation, the right outcome), then I’ll be happy.  

Cause’ if that is how you walk in this world… In anything and everything that you do, you will always be chasing. 

Shawn Achor, the author of “the Happiness Advantage” couldn’t have said it any better: 

“It turns out that our brains are literally hardwired to perform at their best not when they are negative or even neutral, but when, they are positive. Yet in today’s world, we ironically sacrifice happiness for success only to lower our brain’s success rates.” 

Happiness accelerates your ability to achieve your goals. Shocking. 

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The non-obvious obvious of goal setting, no one is talking about 

You must understand these tenants first and foremost before you begin goal setting. 

Here are key points to EFFECTIVE goal creation: 

1. THIS IS ABOUT YOU, YOUR SIGNATURE. For a goal to have longevity, you must deeply want it. Don’t confuse a goal with meeting other people’s expectations. From YOUR heart, not because someone else told you, you should. 
2. HEART WISDOM. Your goal needs to be fueled by your heart first, then logic to map the plan. Not the other way around. We scientifically know that our hearts have their own intelligence that is more powerful than logic (a learned thinking pattern based on societal parameters of what is right or wrong).  
3. PREPARE. Understand that you will need to be continuously upgrading your operating system aka “brain” by learning new things. What new skills do you need to achieve your goal? Who do you need to hire to teach you? How many hours a week do you need to practice? 
4. YOUR REALITY. You can only create goals based on the reality you live in. Change your perception about what you can have, by changing the way you see and think about life. 
5. NEW GOALS = NEW YOU. To create a new life that involves succeeding at your goal, you must create a new reality and a new personality. To transform from this old self without this goal to the new self that has reached this goal requires us to become aware of how we “walk, talk, feel, see, experience, and perceive” ourselves in our lives. 
6. INCREASED RESPONSIBILITY. When you pursue a goal, you must take responsibility and ownership at an intensity you’ve never experienced before. And that makes us uncomfortable. 
7. GET COMFORTABLE BEING UNCOMFORTABLE. A new goal requires expansion and risk. You must push the edge strategically. You can’t push the edge in a leap. It’s an inch at a time. Consider how your plan will incorporate that inch to help you reach your goal? 
8. PREDICTIONS ARE USELESS. We overestimate what we can accomplish in 1 year and underestimate what we can accomplish in 3. Slow your roll friend. Check the ego at the door and have fun. 

. . .

Do NOT share your goals 

When I started pursuing my dreams, which included big goals in my sport (as an equestrian) and starting my business, people had strong opinions. And offered up advice — that had no neurological basis or scientific fact. It was all conjecture. 

Unfortunately, I followed it. That was a BIG mistake. 

Here’s why —  

Let’s say you tell someone your goals (aka dreams). They listen and jump in, with ideas on how to “fix” you with advice giving. And so, you listen and implement their “fixes”. Where did that get you? 

Or maybe you hire a business coach or therapist, but they haven’t ever created a multi-dollar business or even excelled in their sport. And you spent all those hours and dollars, implementing their strategies thinking it would help you reach your “goals.” But, oh wait… You’ve been talked out of those “goals” to have more “realistic” goals. 

This happens all the time. 

Then what, now you are putting in all this hard work for goals that aren’t even yours? 

Unless you follow the “blueprint strategy.” 

. . . 

What the heck is a blueprint? 

A blueprint is a technical plan, drawing or design of a project. Blueprints go under revision, evolve, and shift according to new ideas and needs. 

The advantage of this strategy is that you can develop a plan, put it into play, revise as you go, and redesign, without losing everything and still be moving forward. 

. . . 

My blueprint system looks like this 

Each piece serves the other, they can’t survive without each other. 

This allows me to continuously build my blueprint, stay motivated during the revisions, and then present my final draft without throwing in the towel.  

This has to be a labor of LOVE. 

Most people create a goal that has no “heart intelligence” involved, it’s very “black and white.” 

But, if you design your goals to be fed into a blueprint like this, you can achieve so much more because you are invested in something bigger than yourself/your reality and that is what helps you achieve your goal. 

… 

Where do you begin? 

Everyone always says, “Start with a realistic goal,” but I say, “start with a big heart goal.” And what does realistic even mean?! Realistic is a word constructed based off of one’s values and judgements of right or wrong. 

Part of dreaming and goal achieving, is learning to trust yourself in this Universe. Ultimately the goal you choose to pursue is your decision (remember you are not sharing this goal with others), just start with one that feels amazing to you and with the blueprint you can always revise. That’s the beauty of it, it evolves with you. It doesn’t stay static like most goal programs. 

I started honestly by “just wanting a horse.” I bought my horse, then decided I wanted to train at a “show barn.” Moved to a show barn. Started training 5x a week and showing every month. My goal was to start showing/competing and be competitive while doing so. Accomplished. After that, my goal evolved even more. And I just thought, “owning a horse” would be my biggest dream in my life. It was just the start.  

Hence, the blueprint. 

When you have a heart-driven goal there is substance there. There is value. 

. . .  

Questions you need to consider before you start chasing your goal. 

1. Should I do it? 
2. Is this authentically me? 
3. And if I do pursue this goal, how am I going to maximize my potential? 
4. What am I willing to invest? Time? Money? Effort? 
5. How can I elevate my strengths to support my areas of growth? 
6. What does success look like to me? Define it. 
7. Once I achieve my goal, what am I going to do with it? 
8. When you increase your level of awareness in answering these questions, you activate awareness, which is a key ingredient in success.  

Research studies reveal increased level of self-awareness increases performance outcomes. Steven Kotler a leading researcher in high performance, reported on a study of London stock traders. Those that had higher levels of introspection showed better pattern recognition skills and outperformed other stock traders. 

You know what else? 

I began taking more “risks.” I put “risks” in quotes, because when I shared my goals, like owning a horse, people told me I was crazy. The thing is… when you listen, you lose the life path that was meant for you. But now that I had started… I landed in a community that thinks similarly to me. And that energy activates me towards ‘bigger’ heart goals I never thought were possible. 

Once you start that ball, it rolls. And with it, the momentum brings gifts. 

. . . 

Now that the blueprint is draw, you know how to prepare because you know what you are prepare for, enhancing the likelihood you’re going to ‘kill’ it!  

What not to do: Habit tracker check lists. Habit tracker lists 90% of the time don’t work. Here is why. 

1. You don’t already have the habit of tracking your behavior, so how can you expect to sustain it? 
2. Stop giving your money and time away to these “habit” trackers. 
3. They make you depressed or more anxious. Because instead of celebrating “progress,” the moment you see a dip in behavior you automatically activate self-sabotaging thoughts. We are taught to look immediately for behaviors that need to be “corrected,” instead of looking for “good” behaviors that serve us. 
4. And frankly, you just don’t have the discipline when something is boring. I’ll get back to discipline in a bit. 

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Develop a 1% er tracker!  

What is 1 thing you can do that is easy and almost effortless for you to shift 1% everyday that you will build? Think about it.  

1% shifts every day in a year = 365% shift after 1 year 

Write out your 1% preparation plan in your blueprint: 

Let’s say your goal is to have a healthier lifestyle (aka loose weight), so you can be more active, have more freedom, less ailments, and feel amazing in your body. 

The 1% would be: 

1. Follow health gurus on Insta 
2. Start taking probiotics 
3. Cut out fastfood and start cooking those burgers at home 
4. Join a league or something to meet other active people 
5. Start going to 1 workout class/week 

And you just build… on each habit. The key is to pile on habits that are easy. And inherently rewarding. A gym is not inherently rewarding. But, a class with other women that you go to with a friend is. If you can activate the social activity piece in your goal, you’ll make it 10x more rewarding. (It’s just how the brain works.) 

How do you know when to add another habit? 

When you don’t have to “think” about doing that one thing anymore. You just get it done. That is a cue that you have developed the automatic synapse connection in your brain. But it does require a level of awareness on your part, and if you fall off “the wagon,” no need to start from habit #1, get back on maybe at habit #4. 

Yes, this is habit stacking technically, but infused with a lifestyle change flavor. 

. . . 

The 30 day rule, is an estimate. Not the golden ticket. 

A habit doesn’t necessarily need to take 30 days (about 4 and a half weeks) to become solid. That is average. 

But you do have to stay focused. Throw the ego out. And keep fueling your desire to reach your goal.  

The secret to building these behaviors successfully though, is to go brutally slow.  

Your brain loves comfort. So, with each shift your brain will have its “moments” where it’s struggling to categorize your new behaviors. And in these moments, it’ll convince you to not continue, to return to your ways that weren’t helpful for you, even if you consciously know your old ways were not setting you up for success. 

The slower you construct your foundation the stronger you will be through the process. Statistically your success rate will increase. And the likelihood of overcoming unforseen challenges ahead is high too. Leading to an increased likelihood of you achieving your goal. I can’t stress this enough. It’s in the research.  

When they studied the greats, researchers noticed that they all practiced deliberately the basics. They didn’t skip ahead. When the foundation is strong, the rest comes effortlessly. 

. . . 

The word we all dread, DISCIPLINE. My secret sauce to making DISCIPLINE work for me. 

People get discipline wrong all the time. 

This is how I activate it, fuel it. 

When your desire, your heart’s involvement in the goal/dream/project is HIGHER, than your level of discipline that you already exhibit in life, you will fuel discipline.  

The desire amplifies, which in turn amplifies the need, which in turn amplifies the direction of your thoughts, which then impacts the behaviors you choose to do.  

Guaranteed you won’t fuel discipline for a goal you’re half invested in.  

And if you do, pursue a goal you’re half invested in, depression and anxiety will set in. The repercussions of not following your hearts desire manifest in disease form, whether physically or mentally. It is just is. Another word for it is stress. And stress is created when we are not in alignment with our hearts. 

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Practice makes progress. 

You become what you practice. To become the new personality required for you to be living your goal, you have to practice being that new personality.  

Example: you want to make 7 figures this year in your business. What does a 7 year figures person feel like? How do they think? What do they do with their time? What are their goals? Who do they invest in? How do they live? What is their personality?  

And once you have that figured out, you need to start changing your mindset so it reflects a 7 figure earning business person. 

. . . 

Throw out timelines. Make “risk-taking” your new thing. 

Timelines are the catch-22 of goal setting. We overestimate what we can accomplish in 1 year and underestimate what we can accomplish in 3. 

It’s not that it can’t be done, however again planning and a strong blueprint is necessary.  

The issue is, usually and mostly, people have their goal but limited previous experience of actively pursuing their goals. So, they don’t have certain behaviors that will accelerate, like discipline, an ability to stay uber focused, solution-focused skills when overcoming challenges, emotional endurance, physical endurance, and mindset understanding to support the process. Thus, there is a ton of learning going on and skill acquisition simultaneously as they pursue their goal. 

We see famous people/athletes who continually accomplish amazing feats, like another release of an album or a financial milestone in their business, however, what we don’t see is the amount of time, dedication, and experts behind the curtain. 

The first step… is being honest with yourself. Goal achieving and success are NOT overnight thing. People underestimate the amount of time, effort, and investments it takes to achieve success.  

So, I think it’s critically important that you throw out the timeline and lean into taking more risks on yourself. The pay-off is bigger. 

Ultimately, your blueprint needs to justify to you, yourself, why putting in the sweat and tears to achieve this goal is necessary. Your return on your investment needs to authentically be valuable to you. Not all returns have value. 

Love the journey. You’ll drop the necessary Dopamine (reward chemical) to keep you in the game towards your goal. And when you reach it, you’ll already be that new personality, so it will feel almost “anti-climatic” because you’ll already have lived it through your journey and daydreams. The truth of the matter neurologically, is that our brains drop more dopamine along the journey towards our goals, than we do when we reach the goal. 

So, create a journey that surprises you, delights you, and is a great story to tell. 

Join my FREE GOAL CONSULT WORKSHOP on Monday July 17, 2023. Email [email protected] to receive your zoom link. I’ll provide FREE COACHING of your 2023 goals and help you optimize them for success! Limited SPOTS. Don’t miss out on this opportunity! 

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